BreakingMySilence, A Story of Hope and Healing

     I went to a memorial over the weekend for a close family friend of my husband. Sean, in his short 30 years here on earth touched many lives. God gave him a special gift and from what I have seen in meeting him a few times and hearing many stories about him, God gave him the gift of loving fearlessly.  I realize that throughout my life I have loved fearfully. What have I been fearful of? Rejection, disappointment, confrontation, a broken heart, loneliness, anger, bitterness and judgment. In fearing all of these things I held back in my relationships with friends and family. I held back on showing them that I loved them, and I held back on showing them who I really am. In loving these people fearfully I experienced all of those things that I feared the most, judgment, rejection, loneliness, and most of all a broken heart.  I ended up losing friends family and those in my family who were my friends. Fear in those all important relationships contributed to confrontation, anger, disapp

What is God's response to rape?     Have you ever wondered what God's response to rape is? W hat is He going to do to our attackers? He comforts me and leads me to healing, but what is doing to those who have wronged me?  In Proverbs 2:12 it says, " The Lord approves of those who are good, but he condemns  those who plan wickedness. " He condemns the wicked, who is more wicked to me than my rapists?  To condemn means to declare someone guilty; to sentence them; or to doom someone. I find it comforting to know that even though I didn't report the times that I was raped and they weren't condemned by the courts they are condemned by a much higher authority. In Psalm 11:5 it says," The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence." Now hate is a strong and powerful word and it seems as though it's a human emotion or feeling. What does this verse mean to me? I believe that this word "hate"  is not to

Where is God when rape happens?   Psalm 10:17 " Lord you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them."      This verse is saying that God is always with us even when we are being attacked by someone. The reason why we can face being raped or molested is because God is there holding us up.  I believe that the worst crime against a woman is sexual assault and abuse and there were times when I was tormented by what happened.  I couldn't get up and keep going, I didn't feel worthy so God stepped in and gave me His strength to get out of bed in the morning and keep going, to keep living. Do you ever ask yourself why am I still alive? How am I still standing here going on after being violated in the worst way imaginable? How is it  possible for me to love and be intimate with a man again? That is God sending His strength to you to live and be a survivor. That is God that is giving you His courage to stand up and not be shatte