Another Brave Survivor Story, Lindsey is Breaking her Silence!
I received an email from Lindsey, she is 24 years old and she shared her story of sexual abuse with me. I asked her if I could share her story for her to help those of you who have a similar story to not feel so alone. I would like to encourage all of you who read this blog to reach out to Lindsey and send her your encouraging words. If you would like to send an email to her you can do so through my email at 4hopeandhealing@gmail.com and I will be happy to send them to her. Thank you Lindsey for breaking your silence here and please know that this is a safe place and I am humbled by your strength and bravery in sharing this with us all.
Here is Lindsey's story, written by Lindsey,
What a terrible thing to hear such sad stories about people being taken advantage of by those whom they trust. I too was a victim. When I was 9 years old my grandpa offered to rub my back for me while on a trip. I accepted what I believed was just a thoughtful gesture by my grandpa. It turned out to be a way to gain access to my body. So days later when I had to share a bed in a hotel with my grandpa, I did not protest to him, this time not asking me, as he rubbed my back underneath the covers as my older brother and his friend laid in another bed just feet away from ours. It felt good, so I feel asleep. The next night it was more of the same but he was also rubbing my stomach and my legs. I woke shortly after falling to sleep to a very unfamiliar feeling. I looked around the dark room and then realized what was happening. My grandpa had his hand down the front of my pjs and inside my underwear. He was rubbing me down there. Grandpa knew I was now awake and he whispered in my ear to relax and go back to sleep, to let him make me feel good. My grandpa began kissing my shoulders, then my back and chest. He had taken my shirt off earlier when I was being given a back rub. His hand continued to rub me, but I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable. I was old enough to know he should not be touching me there. He continued his way kissing down my body, the lower he went, the more nervous I became, until he began giving me what I know now to be oral sex. He held my hands with his hands, his head in between my legs, not allowing me to move. All I did was try to stay quiet, embarrassed with what was happening, thinking what if my brother hears or sees this? It did not stop till what must have been almost dawn, just oral sex on me, at least that I remember. I must have fallen asleep after a while, but the confusion and change in emotions really was something I struggled with and still do to this day. I woke up in the morning with the sunlight coming in the window, my clothes were off, my brother and his friend were still asleep. Grandpa was in the shower, I tried to find my clothes before anyone saw me like this. Once I was dressed I just sat on the edge of the bed, thinking, just thinking. My grandpa came out of the shower, clothed and ready for another day, a big smile on his face. He awoke the boys and asked us all how we slept. I just had a look of shock on my face, reliving what had happened that night, wondering what I do now. I never told a soul what happened to this day, well at least those I know. Lindsey
Lindsey, I said a prayer for you and wanted to send you some encouraging verses from the bible that I have found.
Acts 18:9-10 "One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision. Don't be afraid! Speak out! Don't be silent! For I am with you and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to me. This verse to me means that God wants us to stand up and not be afraid of speaking out because He is with us and will walk us through breaking our silence.
Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." I love this verse because it reminds me that no matter what God is my strength when I am weak He is strong for me. When I get that strength from Him and I surrender to Him, He fills my heart with joy and I know that I am loved unconditionally.
Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and courageous all you who put your hope in the Lord." I know that through God I am strong and courageous. You are being strong and courageous by telling your story and breaking your silence. I hope that through this experience you feel more healed from your past and you can stand strong knowing that God has your back!
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." I believe God put it on my heart to create this blog so that all of us survivors had a safe place to go to, to comfort each other. We are all comforted by knowing that we aren't alone and we may never meet each other but we love and support one another.
Jeremiah 20:11 "But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior. Before him my persecutors will stumble. They cannot defeat me. They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated. Their dishonor will never be forgotten." God fights for us and He stands strong and defeats our enemies. We are NEVER alone and He is standing right next to us holding our hands. If we ever feel alone all we have to do is call out to Him and He will reveal himself to us. Lindsey you are not going through this alone, God loves you and His heart breaks for you.
I am so happy that you are breaking your silence and I truly hope that this will bring freedom to you. Sometimes our pain overtakes us and we live in the darkness and our fear and shame paralyzes us to the point where we are silent. You are no longer silent keep speaking out and let God's light shine in and through you. You are not alone and Lindsey any time you need to vent or get your feelings out please email me. I am here! KEEP HEALING YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL STRONG SURVIVOR!!
Here is Lindsey's story, written by Lindsey,
What a terrible thing to hear such sad stories about people being taken advantage of by those whom they trust. I too was a victim. When I was 9 years old my grandpa offered to rub my back for me while on a trip. I accepted what I believed was just a thoughtful gesture by my grandpa. It turned out to be a way to gain access to my body. So days later when I had to share a bed in a hotel with my grandpa, I did not protest to him, this time not asking me, as he rubbed my back underneath the covers as my older brother and his friend laid in another bed just feet away from ours. It felt good, so I feel asleep. The next night it was more of the same but he was also rubbing my stomach and my legs. I woke shortly after falling to sleep to a very unfamiliar feeling. I looked around the dark room and then realized what was happening. My grandpa had his hand down the front of my pjs and inside my underwear. He was rubbing me down there. Grandpa knew I was now awake and he whispered in my ear to relax and go back to sleep, to let him make me feel good. My grandpa began kissing my shoulders, then my back and chest. He had taken my shirt off earlier when I was being given a back rub. His hand continued to rub me, but I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable. I was old enough to know he should not be touching me there. He continued his way kissing down my body, the lower he went, the more nervous I became, until he began giving me what I know now to be oral sex. He held my hands with his hands, his head in between my legs, not allowing me to move. All I did was try to stay quiet, embarrassed with what was happening, thinking what if my brother hears or sees this? It did not stop till what must have been almost dawn, just oral sex on me, at least that I remember. I must have fallen asleep after a while, but the confusion and change in emotions really was something I struggled with and still do to this day. I woke up in the morning with the sunlight coming in the window, my clothes were off, my brother and his friend were still asleep. Grandpa was in the shower, I tried to find my clothes before anyone saw me like this. Once I was dressed I just sat on the edge of the bed, thinking, just thinking. My grandpa came out of the shower, clothed and ready for another day, a big smile on his face. He awoke the boys and asked us all how we slept. I just had a look of shock on my face, reliving what had happened that night, wondering what I do now. I never told a soul what happened to this day, well at least those I know. Lindsey
Lindsey, I said a prayer for you and wanted to send you some encouraging verses from the bible that I have found.
Acts 18:9-10 "One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision. Don't be afraid! Speak out! Don't be silent! For I am with you and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to me. This verse to me means that God wants us to stand up and not be afraid of speaking out because He is with us and will walk us through breaking our silence.
Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." I love this verse because it reminds me that no matter what God is my strength when I am weak He is strong for me. When I get that strength from Him and I surrender to Him, He fills my heart with joy and I know that I am loved unconditionally.
Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and courageous all you who put your hope in the Lord." I know that through God I am strong and courageous. You are being strong and courageous by telling your story and breaking your silence. I hope that through this experience you feel more healed from your past and you can stand strong knowing that God has your back!
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." I believe God put it on my heart to create this blog so that all of us survivors had a safe place to go to, to comfort each other. We are all comforted by knowing that we aren't alone and we may never meet each other but we love and support one another.
Jeremiah 20:11 "But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior. Before him my persecutors will stumble. They cannot defeat me. They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated. Their dishonor will never be forgotten." God fights for us and He stands strong and defeats our enemies. We are NEVER alone and He is standing right next to us holding our hands. If we ever feel alone all we have to do is call out to Him and He will reveal himself to us. Lindsey you are not going through this alone, God loves you and His heart breaks for you.
I am so happy that you are breaking your silence and I truly hope that this will bring freedom to you. Sometimes our pain overtakes us and we live in the darkness and our fear and shame paralyzes us to the point where we are silent. You are no longer silent keep speaking out and let God's light shine in and through you. You are not alone and Lindsey any time you need to vent or get your feelings out please email me. I am here! KEEP HEALING YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL STRONG SURVIVOR!!
Wow Lindsey's story is so powerful. I was molested by both my stepfather and uncle. It was horrible. I know how she feels. I spoke out a year ago. It feels so good to speak out. To Lindsey: It is important to speak out. You see with me i spoke out last year and before that, I was silent for 10 years. Im 24 now almost 25. I encourage you to speak out. You have alot of survivors behind you. But most importantly you have God in front of you and he will not allow anything to happen to you. God bless you and I hope you get the help you deserve.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Lindsey! Im proud of you for getting your story out. i know how hard it is. i sincerely hope that this is the begining of healing for you! please know you will always have my support as well as my sisters.
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