A Time to Grieve and a Time to Dance

    Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 "For everything there is a season... a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance."

    Why is it when we lose someone we love our life seems to stop and we move in slow motion? Meanwhile the world around us seems to be moving faster and faster.  We feel like we can't keep up, we get overwhelmed and then all of a sudden our grief takes over us and we break down. Our emotions take over and we cry uncontrollably it's one of those cries that goes from our head to our toes that makes our entire body convulse.  Then in the midst of your uncontrollable cry you hear, a noise, or a voice, or perhaps even a fart, that switches your tears from sorrow and sadness to joy and laughter that is almost hysterical.  After about 5 minutes or so of uncontrollable laughter you finally stop and take a deep breath in and you slowly breathe out and your mind feels clearer and you can begin to hold on to rational thoughts again.  I don't know if this happens to you but this is what my body goes through during a time of grief. 

     Last Friday my family lost a beautiful woman in our family, my Granny.  She was a strong willed, stubborn, loving, caring and opinionated.  I loved her very much and I will miss her dearly.  She always told me when I was screwing up, she never held back. She would also say that mistakes were a part of life and she loved me no matter how many mistakes I made. When I was younger I hated her brutal honesty and I was left offended after many conversations with her.  Now that I am older I appreciate those difficult conversations we had because I know she always told me the truth.  I feel like my Granny was stronger than she gave herself credit for.  She lost her parents at a very young age so she was surprised every birthday that she made it another year.  She was a fighter and beat cancer, she did everything she wanted to do in her life, and every birthday for her was like a surprise party!
     She loved her family and would do anything for her two daughters, her son-in-laws,  her granddaughters and grandson, but most of all her husband, Bruce. Granny loved all of us with her whole heart!  It broke her heart when the family didn't get along and when we all came together despite tension and family feuds going on her heart was overfilled with joy and love for her family. She just wanted her family to be happy and to love each other!

     Granny loved her flowers and garden, she had a true green thumb!  Orchids were her favorite but she loved roses too! Unfortunately none of the grandkids have been blessed with the green thumb but we sure have fun trying!  She loved to read books, all kinds of books and she would pass them along to those us who read. She also loved watching and going to the movies.  She would go once a week for years with her friends and they would go have lunch and see a movie.  She was love to tell us all about the movie she saw and what she thought about it. She really loved the movies with handsome men to look at, haha!  She even loved those weird independent films that only my sister Michelle seemed to enjoy with her.  I am talking about those artsy independent films with random naked people in it, it makes me giggle to think of Granny watching those movies. 

     I will miss Granny everyday but I will smile when I see beautiful orchids, and roses in every color and gardens in full bloom.  I will think of her after reading a great book and pass it on.  I will love my family better and appreciate every moment I have with them.   I will strive to communicate better and forgive immediately, life is too short for grudges!  I will always remember my Granny telling me to "Stand by my man, no matter what!" When life happens and my husband and I struggle I will remember what she told me and love him through all of our tough situations.  I strive to live my faith out loud as my Granny did, she loved God and didn't care who knew it and she wasn't worried about others opinions. She was such a blessing in my life and I will miss her everyday. 

I am going to go through a season of grief and I know it's ok to miss her and cry but it won't last forever.  My Granny would want me to love other with all that I have, to laugh until I cry, and to live my life to it's fullest! So my promise to those of you that are still here, In honor of Granny I will strive to give you the best me that I can be!

  This is dedicated to Diane Geisler, aka Granny! A wife, a Grandmother, a Mother, a best friend but most of all a beautiful woman who made a huge impact in my life! I will love you forever and think of you often and thank you for raising a wonderful daughter and the best Mom a girl could ask for! Love you Mom!