True Surrender Brings Freedom

     Surrender has been on my mind a lot lately! The definition of surrender is to relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand, to give over or resign(oneself) to something as to an emotion. When I think of this word surrender and the action it makes me think of my old history books.  In battle one party waves the white flag as if to tell the enemy we give up you are too much for us to handle. We want to live and not die by your sword! Well we have an enemy as well, and God wants us to raise our white flags to Him and surrender our pain or sin to Him. When the enemy or pain is too much for us to handle we turn to God and He takes over for us. 
     I remember when I was going to church again after many years of ignoring God and hearing that word "surrender". This used to scare me because being a survivor of rape made me want to be in control of everything! I maintained surface relationships so I felt like I was in control, I controlled how close I got to others. I did this because the lies in my mind told me that if I surrendered or even shared my painful stories with others I would become vulnerable.  Being vulnerable is what made me open for attack by these men. This scared me so I stayed in my comfort zone thinking I was in control of my life! As long as I remained in control I would not get taken advantage of or attacked again. Looking back at me trying to control everything led to bad choices, bad men and being raped. I was actually more vulnerable when I was trying to control everything around me. 
     When I got back to my relationship with God, He showed me that surrender was the only answer to my painful past. I remember sitting at my church listening to the waterfall and just praying and crying out to God telling him that I didn't want control anymore. I didn't want the pain that I had been living with for the last 12 years, that the enemy and the pain of being raped 3 times was too much!! As I was sitting there desperate for an answer and a solution I heard God's voice for the first time loud and clear I heard him say, "Lisa, surrender your pain to me! It's too much for you to carry by yourself, you have carried it too long! Give it to me and let me carry it for you. Surrender it to me." I said, "God take it please take it for me!" All of a sudden my tears of desperation turned to tears of healing and surrender. I felt so light that I could fly, the heaviness was ripped away from me and I could see clearer. I relinquished control and gave it to God and I felt better!! Who knew?!! HAHA Why didn't I do it sooner? It's a constant battle to surrender everyday to God. I struggle with it and I have a choice to make everyday to surrender or to take control for myself. I can tell you this when I make the choice to surrender my days are brighter and filled with joy. The days I don't surrender are filled with confusion, depression and chaotic thoughts. Everyday is a battle but everyday I have a choice!
    My hope for any of you survivors who feel that heaviness and the need to control everything in your life out of fear, is that you surrender too! Surrender your painful past to God because He loves you and wants to carry it for you. That is why He died on the cross so we wouldn't have to live in the lies that enemy taunts us with. He died on the cross so we could be free, true surrender to God brings your heart and your soul true freedom. Those of you who don't know how to surrender say this prayer to God. "Dear God,  I know that you died on the cross for my sins to bring me not only eternal salvation with you in heaven. But you died on the cross so I can experience true freedom in my heart and soul here on earth. God this pain of my past is too much for me to carry, God take it from me! God it's yours to carry for me, I surrender my pain, my fear, my worries, but most of all I surrender myself to you as your child. I surrender to you and I thank you for blessing me with true freedom in Christ! In Jesus Name Amen"
   If anyone says this prayer out loud that I wrote please tell me how you feel! Share with me your thoughts and experience of true surrender to God! I will leave you today with a couple of encouraging verses from God's word.   1 Corinthians 10:13 "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted He will show you a way out so that you can endure."
Psalms 13:3-6 "Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me!"


My prayer for all of you who read this is that you experience the true freedom in Christ by surrendering all of your pain to Him! He loves you and so do I! Also for those of you who have a desire to share your stories please email me at 4hopeandhealing@gmail.com. I would love to share your stories for you, as we continue to bring the darkness into the light we begin to heal. God will honor that and lead you to surrender and you will have true freedom and healing in your life!! God Bless!