BreakingMySilence, A Story of Hope and Healing

 "I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul."  Psalm 31:7       After the first time I was raped at 16 yrs old I thought that my future of ever being happy with a man was doomed.  My heart was wounded and my soul was broken, I had very little hope.  I tried desperately not to judge all men for one's evil act.  Then shortly after when I raped again, this time by not one but two men my heart's wound seemed to double in size.  I felt stupid and naïve for letting my guard down and giving someone a chance. I had this healthy, wonderful example of a loving relationship at home from my parents. I would always wonder why I was so blind when it came to relationships with the opposite sex.  In my early twenties my judgment was clouded by my alcohol haze, and my ability to make good decisions was impaired.  I just wanted to feel and know what it was like...

    Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 "For everything there is a season... a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance."      Why is it when we lose someone we love our life seems to stop and we move in slow motion? Meanwhile the world around us seems to be moving faster and faster.  We feel like we can't keep up, we get overwhelmed and then all of a sudden our grief takes over us and we break down. Our emotions take over and we cry uncontrollably it's one of those cries that goes from our head to our toes that makes our entire body convulse.  Then in the midst of your uncontrollable cry you hear, a noise, or a voice, or perhaps even a fart, that switches your tears from sorrow and sadness to joy and laughter that is almost hysterical.  After about 5 minutes or so of uncontrollable laughter you finally stop and take a deep breath in and you slowly breathe out and your mind feels clearer and you can begin to hold on to rational...