"Rescued from the Darkness Through God's Love", Jaime's Story

     It's April and an important month to me to spread awareness for Sexual Assault Survivors.  In honor of this month I have spread the word for survivors to send me their stories to share with all my readers and followers.  I am excited and honored to share the first survivor story with all of you this month.  My beautiful friend Jaime, she is a strong and courageous woman who has lived a life filled with chaos and trauma until the day God stepped into her life and forever transformed and healed her wounded heart.  Her story is amazing and I hope that God uses this story for all of you survivors living in darkness to find God's love and let him rescue you.

     Chaos was pretty normal growing up in my house. By the time I was five years old my parents divorced and I was left with two families that did not like each other and had a very hard time getting along. My mother constantly told me that my dad wasn’t capable of loving me or the family that he left behind. That in his new found success in business he decided that we were not good enough for him and he chose a new family that was better than us.
My mom raised my brother and I full time and I rarely saw my father at all. Our house was filled with anger for what we thought my dad had done. I grew up in constant negativity that became very damaging and destructive as I would learn to point all of my troubles and pain straight at my dad. I was led to believe my dad was a dead beat that didn’t pay child support as he selfishly left us to fend for ourselves. That meant he stopped loving me and was ok knowing that we grew up so poor that were in constant fear we would go without food and shelter.
My mother on the other hand, was never emotionally there for me. There was a lot of pretending but those facades were just an illusion she presented to me and to others around her. I believe my mom’s own personal wounds were sadly too painful for her to face and in that she chose to live most her life in denial. I feel it was in my mom’s own desperate need to cope and survive that I believe brought out a devastating personality disorder…one that not only hurt her but severely hurt others, especially her children. This disorder consumed her. It brought out the broken and very ugly side of my mom. There was abuse, manipulation, deceit, and lies that ultimately led me to feel so badly about myself that I started to self-destruct.
The emptiness destroyed me and I began to look for what I desired the most and never received growing up. I didn’t know anything about healthy love but I was determined to find what everyone raved about. “Looking for love in all the wrong places” must have been written about me because that was all I did.  I turned to men, sex, drugs, alcohol, and money to fill what was broken inside me.  I hoped it would fill the ever consuming void that crippled me.
Sadly the need to be loved along with misguided choices led me into a strip club at nineteen. My life began to spiral out of control once I entered this very dark world. I was raped and sexually assaulted multiple times. I chose abusive boyfriends and all the money I made in that industry was spent on either drugs to survive or given away because I felt the money was dirty and I didn’t deserve it. I stayed in the industry for three years feeling hopeless, numb and wanting to die until God came in and sought me in that strip club and changed my life.
Thankfully today I know I have a God that loves me so much he came down and rescued me from myself even when I didn’t know how to ask. He changed my life and taught me how to love all of who I am because He first loved me. He has surrounded me with some of the most amazing friends today that show me the healthy love I desired so much growing up and those are the people I get to call my family today.
In my walk with God, he has opened my eyes to the truth in my parents that I was too young to understand. The greatest blessing he gave me through all that heartache and pain was learning the stories I was told about my dad growing up were never true and now my dad is back in my life. He has and continues to restore our relationship which I could have never believed was possible.
I was a girl that was broken, lost, neglected and abused.  At one point in my darkest bottom I thought the only way to feel better was to end my life.  Instead God had a different idea. He has taken this wounded girl, who believed she was never capable of being loved and has restored me. He continues to fill me with His unconditional love and an endless amount of hope.  As he heals all of the pain and despair I have experienced, He teaches me that all the pain in my life will never be wasted and He will use it for good to help others.  He has given a voice to this girl who never had one growing up. If he can do all this for me, than I know he can do it for you.
My heart hurts for where you are because I have been there too. I just pray you will look up and ask God for His help. It is in those desperate and silent prayers that I promise He hears you, even when you think He doesn’t. He is just waiting for you to surrender control and let Him help you. Just know you are His daughter! A daughter of a King! You are magnificent, you are sacred, you are perfect and you are loved.
“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”  2 Corinthians 5:17

     Jaime has been bold and put herself out there as a Survivor and has dedicated her life to serve God's kingdom by reaching out to girls in the sex industry.  She started a ministry called, Divine and is reaching out to girls at strip clubs to let them know that they are loved.  Jaime has a team of amazing women helping her and they are a true testament to showing others God's unconditional love.  She has shown how a simple smile and genuine conversation can touch someone's heart who may feel empty and unloved.  Jaime's ministry shows them a love they may not even understand yet, but that is just God touching their hearts through others.  Please check out her website and reach out to her if you need someone to talk to, if you need someone to pray for you please use this resource! Please click on the link and check it out  http://www.divineoc.com/ Please send Jaime your comments by commenting on this blog post. Send Jaime your thoughts how her story made you feel when you read it, or just send her more love and encouragement her way.

 Jaime, thank you for being such an inspiration in my life. You encourage me to be bold, courageous and most of all to love myself just the way God made me.  I see God's light shine through you and I feel His presence in our growing friendship.  I am honored and blessed to have you in my life and your constant support of this cause that I am so passionate about brings joy to my heart.  I am looking forward to seeing how God grows our friendship, your ministry  and how God is going to use us to speak to each other.  Thank your for inspiring to put myself out there and to Trust in God to guide me in getting this all important message out to the world.

If anyone out there wants to share their story out there in a safe place please contact me and send me an email at 4hopeandhealing@gmail.com.  If any of you want to send encouraging words to those survivors out there please send to me as well and I will post your message for you. You can also show your support by sending me a photo of something teal, Jaime's picture she submitted is above. Let's break the silence and get your community aware of this serious crime that happens all too often. Help me spread the word and spread hope to those who are suffering.