BreakingMySilence, A Story of Hope and Healing

In writing this blog I was hoping to help other survivors to share their stories. I want to help all of those out there who are silent to have a safe place to share their stories. My sister Laura is a rape survivor as well and this is her story written by her. Who was I?       In order to for you to fully understand how all this happened you must first understand who I was before it all started. Growing up I was always kind of an odd kid, not in a bad way I just always have had my own way of doing things and understanding things. I was always very mature for my age and very in touch with my own feelings as a result I didn’t have too many friends. I felt very different from the kids at school. Knowing this I was a very shy kid and I didn’t feel much like I fit in around my peers. I have two older sisters and a younger brother. My older sister, Lisa was very popular and my family labeled her as the pretty one and everyone loved her. My younger brother...

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NLT)     I have been on my path of true healing for the past 3 years but nothing prepared me for the surprise of a trigger that I pushed to the back of my mind.  When I was raped the first time when I was 16 yrs old the next day I was in extreme pain physically. I crawled out of my bunk bed and crawled on the floor down the hallway to the living room. I told my Mom that I couldn't go to school that day because I was in so much pain. She kept asking me what kind of doctor I needed to go to as I cradled the right side just below my stomach and tears streaming down my face. I was shaking all over because my body was overwhelmed with pain and my emotional state was at an all time low. I lied to my Mom and told her that I had sex willingly with the guy who raped me, so we went to the gynecologist. I remember laying on that table ...

Hello Beautiful Survivors!! I wanted to share some more pictures in support of Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. You are being thought of and loved from us here in California! This sweet puppy chews on a teal football and her owner is sporting some teal nail polish!!               This dog likes to hide under her teal  bandanna  so she can get some rest!!                 Here is a "thumbs up" from a supporter! Keep on fighting survivors never give up on healing!!          Here's a creative french manicure with our color mixed in! What a beautiful manicure to represent survivors!  Here are some more teal toes with a beautiful teal background!! Love these supporters sporting teal in any way they can!!  Thank you to all of you who have submitted photos in support of us survivors! It feels great to know that we are being thought of esp...

I wanted to send some love to my fellow survivors today!! I was thinking today of what we are as SURVIVORS  and what are some adjectives that could be used to describe us.  Well here is what I came up with and I hope that you look inside yourself and realize that all of these adjectives describe you. No matter where you are in your healing process and no matter what lies you tell you yourself let me tell you who you are! STRONG- No matter what type of sexual abuse you suffered, you are so strong! God made you this way He won't let you be broken you are tough you survived a trauma! UNIFIED-  We are a community, a support system for one another. We all stand for one cause and that is to help each other heal from our trauma and find freedom from our pasts!  RESILIENT-  Our attackers thought they broke us down but we will recover and won't stay down they did not break us!!! VERACIOUS-  When we are truthful and honest about what happened to us our healing ...

"For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13  Today was a true victory through God in my life!! I was given the opportunity to speak at my church's Story Time to share my story with the staff of my church. I am in awe of His perfect timing that I was able to share my story in Rape and Sexual Assault Awareness Month!!! I will be honest I was terrified of speaking in front of people and telling a room full of people about my past and what God has done in my life.  At first I was overwhelmed with emotion my mind started spinning and over thinking everything. The enemy tried to fill my head with worry, doubt and fear. Negative thoughts started clouding my mind and overtaking me.  I sat down with my husband and told him the lies and fears that were overwhelming me. We sat and talked everything out together, prayed and I surrendered those lies and fears to God.  When the cloud was lifted from me I saw clear and I was able to spend my time pra...